There is no what about female circumcision. There is nothing controversial about it. It IS mutilation.

To echo a couple common points:

Don’t use porn as a metric. It’s like eating straight sugar instead of a healthy diet.

It’s the whole package that matters. If I don’t care for the person, they could have a golden crotch and I wouldn’t care

That being said, cleanliness, hygiene and at least trimmed.

Then it’s about making each other feel good. Everything else will develope for you over time.

Definitely don’t force it. If you are not comfortable, or it grosses you out, then stop.

Try not to stress and have fun. Exploration should be part of the enjoyment, but it won’t be fun if you and your partner don’t feel comfortable or safe.